Things Californians are thankful for this year

Nov. 21, 2012

By John Seiler

Here are the things Californians are thankful for this Thanksgiving 2012:

Gov. Jerry Brown is thankful California voters are such turkeys they believed his $6 billion tax hike would go to kids, instead of to the pensions of his union “troops,” as he calls them.

Senate President Darrell Steinberg and Assembly Speaker John Perez are thankful for their new supermajorities in the Legislature so they can tax the stuffing out of Californians at will.

CARB honcho Mary Nichols is thankful that, with AB 32 implementation and Cap and Trade, she has more arbitrary, undemocratic authority than any bureaucrat since Lazar Kaganovich was People’s Commissar of Transport.

Ex-Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is thankful that his “autobiography,” actually written by Peter Petre, didn’t sell worse than it did.

Meg Whitman is thankful that she won’t be governor next year when the California economy collapses.

AG Kamala Harris is thankful that she could get out of this collapsing state and become the next U.S. AG.

Losing Assemblyman Chris Norby is thankful that he won’t have to deal any longer with innumerate Democratic legislators.

Former Assemblyman Chuck DeVore is thankful that he’s far, far away from California and living in freedom and inexpensive prosperity in Texas.

Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom is thankful that California’s 2013 economic collapse might lead Jerry Brown not to seek re-election in 2014.

Treasurer Bill Lockyer is thankful that, besides the two state constitutional offices he has been term limited out of, there are six more offices he can be elected to for eight years each.

L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa is thankful that the city won’t go bankrupt until after he leaves office next July 1.

Sen. Dianne Feinstein is thankful that few cared that she refused to embarrass herself by debating Republican challenger Elizabeth Emken.

Elizabeth Emken is thankful that she’s still in the private sector instead of the collapsing government sector.

Nancy Pelosi is thankful that Pelosicare, which should be named that because she was its major author, is called Obamacare because the prez will get the blame when it ends up like a diseased turkey.

Mitt Romney, who owns beach digs in La Jolla, is grateful he won’t be president during the apocalypse.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving! anyway, everybody.

Add your own names below for what prominent Californians are thankful for. But be nice. I’ll be watching in between chugging reinforced eggnog.

2 comments

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  1. Rex the Wonder Dog!
    Rex the Wonder Dog! 21 November, 2012, 19:05

    This is hilarious!

    Reply this comment
  2. jimmydeeoc
    jimmydeeoc 21 November, 2012, 21:40

    That it was, Rex.

    JS had fun with this no doubt. And I suspect bourbon was involved. =)

    Reply this comment

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