By John Seiler

Looks like Canada is breaking up. Reported RT.com:

“The separatist Parti Quebecois has won Quebec’s regional elections and will form a new government there, once again raising the possibility of a referendum on independence being held in Canada’s French-speaking province.

“Canadian Broadcasting Corp and the Canadian Press reported that Parti Quebecois (PQ) won or were leading in nearly 60 districts, just short of the 63 needed for a majority government….

“Crowds of jubilant PQ followers, cheered and waved flags as election results indicated their party was heading back to power after nine years of Liberal Party rule.

“Should PQ win a majority it will make it easier for them to call a referendum on independence. Quebec has held two referendums in the past — one in 1980 and another in 1995- with the last narrowly rejecting independence from Canada.”

Canada obviously is at least two countries. Quebec is French-speaking; the rest of the country mostly English-speaking, eh. The people and cultures are different.

Time also for California to split up. Languages aside, the differences between, say, Orange County and San Francisco are larger than those between Quebec and Alberta. Why should John Wayne County have to be jammed together with Nancy Pelosi City? It just doesn’t make sense.

Here’s how the state should be broken up into new states:

1. Orange County is renamed John Wayne State of Freedom. Like New Hampshire, no sales or income taxes. All public schools privatized. All controls and taxes on cigarettes removed. Medical marijuana is banned, but medical bourbon (Wayne’s drink) is subsidized. State song: “That’ll Be the Day” (based from one of the Duke’s lines).

2. San Francisco becomes Nancy Pelosi State. State income taxes raised to 50 percent. Cigarettes banned. Medical marijuana is manditory for all ailments. However, farming regulations prevent anything, including marijuana, from being grown in the city. Socialized medicine on the British model is imposed. State song: “San Franciscan Nights.”

3. Los Angeles County becomes Hollywood State. The governor is chosen by movie box-office results. State income tax is 20 percent; except for anyone in the entertainment industry, for which it’s zero. State song: “L.A. Woman.”

4. San Diego becomes a federal protectorate under the Department of the Navy. U.S. Marines from Camp Pendleton replace local police. State song: “Surfin’ USA.”

5. Inland Empire becomes Bob Hope State, after the longtime resident of Palm Springs. The state income tax starts out at 4 percent, but will be cut later. Stand-up comics don’t pay it. State song: “Thanks for the Memories.”

6. Bakersfield and the general area around it becomes Haggard State, after Merle Haggard, one of the creators of the great Bakersfield Sound in country music. No state income tax for descendants of Okies. Everyone else pays 3 percent. State song: “I’m an Okie from Muskogee.”

7. Northern California becomes Ganja State. Top export: medical marijuana. State income tax rate is 15 percent, but nobody pays it because tax authorities always are high. State song: “Don’t Bogart that Joint.”

I finally got my first Meg mailer today. As I wrote earlier, my first two Jerry mailers came a week ago, just as I got my absentee ballot. Who knows why it took her so long.

On the front is her slogan, “A New California.” Which annoys me. I want to go back to the old California, the one I visited in 1964 when I was 9 years old, when my family drove out here from Michigan: Disneyland with the long-gone submarine ride, the Beach Boys, Annette Funicello, close to zero unemployment, a decent house that cost $20,000, 25-cent gas, California Girls, swimming pools, movie stars, M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.

On the back of Meg’s mailer — or maybe it’s the front — is a fork in the road. The signs above read, on the left, “ROAD TO ECONOMIC PROSPERITY,” and on the right, “ROAD TO NOWHERE.”

You mean to tell me that, having spent $140 million (so far) on her campaign, nobody pointed out to her that “right” is the side of free markets and “left” is the side of socialism, ever since the National Assembly during the French Revolution? (Meg, that’s the one that started in 1789.)

Inside, it continues: There’s a picture of Meg, on the left page, smiling, and this: “Less Spending, Lower Taxes, More Jobs.” On the right is a picture of a dour-looking Jerry, and this: “More Spending, More Taxes, Fewer Jobs.”

Back to the Fork in the Road: Actually, because Meg opposes Prop. 23, which really would save our jobs by suspending the jobs-killing AB 32, there really isn’t a fork in the road. There’s only Depression Detour, which is named both Meg Highway and Jerry Causeway.

Enough. I’m going back to 1964:

Oct. 15, 2010