By Katy Grimes

After decades of telling women to burn their bras, divorce their husbands, shun motherhood, and pursue careers, feminists have now discovered how wonderful it is to stay at home with the babies.

“A growing number of women are dismissing the career-driven conventions they were raised with, saying no to full-time work; believing instead that every household needs one primary caretaker – the mother,” the Daily Mail UK reported this week.

And they are calling themselves “feminist housewives.”  Titles are very important to some people. I pity their husbands.

New York Magazine recently published a story called “The Retro Wife, feminists who say they’re having it all—by choosing to stay home.”

Who are these self-absorbed women who discover something natural and normal, and must proclaim it from the mountain tops as if they’ve found the secret to eternal youth?

Women who have been brainwashed by radical feminists through decades of federal, state and local level public policy, public and private education, and good old Hollywood — that bastion of reality.

“Feminism has fizzled, its promise only half-fulfilled,” New York Magazine said. “This is the revelation of the moment, hashed and rehashed on blogs and talk shows, a cause of grief for some, fury for others.”

“In her much-discussed Atlanticpiece, Anne-Marie Slaughter, by profession a policy wonk (now at Princeton, formerly at the State Department), calls for better workplace programs: more parental leave, more part-time and flextime options,” New York Magazine swooned.

The Atlantic claimed, “It’s time to stop fooling ourselves, says a woman who left a position of power: the women who have managed to be both mothers and top professionals are superhuman, rich, or self-employed. In “Why women still can’t have it all,” Slaughter, whined how while she was in Washington D.C. working her dream job in the State Department, her 14-year old son was having 14-year old issues.

“On a Wednesday evening, President and Mrs. Obama hosted a glamorous reception at the American Museum of Natural History,” Slaughter said. “I sipped champagne, greeted foreign dignitaries, and mingled. But I could not stop thinking about my 14-year-old son, who had started eighth grade three weeks earlier and was already resuming what had become his pattern of skipping homework, disrupting classes, failing math, and tuning out any adult who tried to reach him.”

I’m shocked. Truly shocked.

“Over the summer, we had barely spoken to each other—or, more accurately, he had barely spoken to me,” Slaughter said.

The biggest problem with feminists is selfishness. The feminist message has always been “me, me, me.” Women were told for decades they didn’t need men, shouldn’t be expected to have children, and deserved to be the Chairwoman of the Board. Remember all of the studies and news about breaking the glass ceiling? Female politicians still obsess about this.

And, even more importantly, the unmistakable message was a women should never let anything or anyone get in the way of the goals she so richly deserved.

But life doesn’t work that way. It’s messy and complicated, and rewarding and full of joy.

1960’s and 1970’s radical feminists

I am a child of the 1960’s, and a teenager of the 1970’s. The feminist message was everywhere — in all forms of media, popular music, school, home, extracurricular school activities, sports, church, Girl Scouts, Hollywood, and adult female family friends. Girls and women could not escape it.

By the time I got into college in 1980, radical feminist professors had finely honed their craft. I was required to take an upper division course outside of my major. I got stuck in a horrid class called “Victimless Crimes,” taught by an openly militant lesbian, who claimed that all sex is rape.

During this time period, churches were even getting into the radical feminist message.

Radical nuns

During the recent papal election of Pope Francis, CBS News appeared to go out of its way to find the only two radical feminists in the crowd of people at the Vatican.

“During CBS’s special coverage of the papal election on Wednesday, correspondent Mark Phillips singled out two dissenters from Catholic tradition in the middle of crowd of hundreds of thousands in St. Peter’s Square in Vatican City, mere minutes after the white smoke went out of the Sistine Chapel’s chimney, and before Pope Francis emerged onto the balcony over the piazza,” the Wall Street Journal reported.

“The two activists, who wore pink ‘ordain women’ pins, not only sought to change the Catholic Church’s teachings on the all-male priesthood, but spotlighted “LGBT issues [and] reproductive health care” – a thinly-veiled reference to abortion and contraception – as issues that need to be drastically changed inside the Church,” said the WSJ.

Most of the papal event was covered in the same way by mainstream news organizations.

Last weekend, the Sacramento Bee ran an interview with a radical nun. Sister Simone Campbell is executive director of NETWORK, “a liberal social justice lobby in Washington, D.C.,” the Bee reported. NETWORK was founded 41 years ago in 1972, just before Campbell graduated Mount St. Mary College in Los Angeles in 1973, and U.C. Davis Law School in 1977.

NETWORK is really a a political lobbying group fighting for socially liberal causes. It has nine employees, most of whom are not nuns, according to Catholic media reports.

Campbell has become something of a media darling since she manufactured the media stunt “Nuns on the Bus” tour supporting Obamacare, and opposing Rep. Paul Ryan’s budget. Proving the group was just a media stunt, they received far more coverage from mainstream media than was warranted as they appeared in Washington D.C. on a Sunday, when there were no lawmakers working.

Interestingly, the nuns were investigated by the Vatican for their liberal views on abortion, birth control and gay marriage… views which are extremely unorthodox for women who claim to be nuns with the Catholic Church.

By Katy Grimes

Have you noticed the press releases from legislators at the state Capitol are all gender-neutral? Lawmakers and staff refer to each other as “Assembly members,” and not “Assemblywoman” or “Assemblyman.”

And even more ridiculously, the don’t refer to a Committee head as a “Chairwoman” or “Chairman;” they call each other “Chair.”

Washington state is taking this gender-neutral form of speaking to a new level. “In Washington state, dairymen, freshmen and even penmanship could soon be things of the past,” Fox News reported.

Attempts to fix language are misguided to the point of absurdity. Remember “huperson,” “woperson,” “personslaughter” and “personhole” covers?

Former Sacramento Mayor Anne Rudin became the butt of jokes for her attempt to rename manhole covers, “personhole” covers.

New lingo

Washington state officials have spent the last six years changing language in the law books of the state, as the AP photo above shows. But gender-neutral language is ungrammatical, and not allowed in AP Style. 

“So while the state has already welcomed ‘firefighters,’ ‘clergy’ and ‘police officers’ into its lexicon, ‘ombuds’ (in place of ombudsman) and ‘security guards’ (previously ‘watchmen,’) appear to be next, along with ‘dairy farmers,’ ‘first-year students’ and ‘handwriting,’ Fox reported.

The feminists have finally won — they have eraced “men” even from the law books.

“But language matters. It’s how we signal a level of respect for each other,” Seattle Councilmember Sally Clark said.

What’s wrong with calling Clark a “Councilwoman?”

“Clark and former councilmember Jan Drago — the Seattle City Council has long eschewed the terms councilwoman or councilman — brought the issue to Sen. Jeannie Kohl-Welles in 2006 after they came across references to firemen and policemen in the mayor’s proposed budget, as well as in state law dealing with local-government pensions.”

“I don’t see the need to do gender neutrality,” Republican state Rep. Shelly Short said, adding that her constituents want her to focus on jobs and the economy. “We’re women and we’re men.”

Even more disturbing, is how much taxpayer money has been spent on this absurd project. Kyle Thiessen, the state’s code reviser, has been working on the project along with two attorneys since 2008. I wonder how many support staff are dedicated to this ridiculous project.

Exactly how will this help Washington’s economy, debt, standard of living, or job creation?

By Katy Grimes

Since when is being a stay-at-home-mom considered one of the many modern crimes against women? Since the progressive left decided the latest campaign strategy would be to wage war on conservative women.

Don’t let anyone convince you that there is really a war on women, as the Obama administration and liberal media keep telling us. This latest campaign ploy is just another progressive left deflection in a campaign cycle against an incumbent President who can’t and won’t run on his record.

This ambush on women appears to be backfiring.

Ambush 2012

The latest liberal ambush is by Democratic strategist and Obama adviser, Hilary Rosen, who said yesterday that Presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s wife Ann shouldn’t be talking about women and the economy because she “never actually worked a day in her life.”

Rosen, an elite adviser to Democrats, LGBT activist, and frequent visitor to the White House, attacked Ann Romney for the most heinous of crimes against women–being a stay at home mother of five children. According to Rosen, being a stay-at-home mother of five children is not real work. Somehow, the five Romney children magically raised themselves.

This is how progressives make personal attacks. Conservative women don’t care whether other women choose to stay at home, or work. Progressives appear obsessed with the choices conservative women make. But these self-proclaimed feminists are charlatans–wasn’t the feminist movement about providing more choices to women?

Rosen isn’t exactly the Norman Rockwell picture of a traditional woman either; she is a single, openly gay woman, and a working mother of adopted twins. While Rosen is apparently highly critical of what has historically been the traditional American family structure, she couldn’t just leave it at that and live her choices. Rosen tried to make her perspective on marriage, work and parenting, the new and better American norm.

That’s a very insecure thing to do, and why liberals and progressives must continually legislate lifestyle, instead of just living their choices.

I assume that since Rosen works, she pays someone to care for her children. And I am sure that she took a great deal of time choosing her childrens’ caregivers.

So did the Romney’s, and they decided that Ann Romeny was the best qualified caregiver for the Romney kids.

It’s Not About Money

I know lots of moms who stay at home to care for their children. And I know that many of the families who do this struggle financially. But it’s a choice they are free to make, and obviously feel strongly about.

If Hilary Rosen is willing to pay for someone to care for her children, then her statement yesterday about Ann Romney is just cheap and loathsome.

Is there a war on women?

The answer is easy – what are American women not allowed to do?

The women’s rights movement was not just about equality, it was about offering women choices and opportunity. For the last several decades, women have not only not denied anything, they’ve been given special government protections against discrimination in any setting.

Don’t let the facts get in the way of a good deflection

The interesting thing is that it’s not conservative women who incessantly whine and complain about women’s rights, because we don’t have to. We work and have careers, and husband and children. We stay at home with our babies. We work. We do both. We are CEO’s, doctors, lawyers, journalists, police and military officers, professional athletes, and even professional fighters. We work in construction and manufacturing, and we are teachers, nurses, clerks, librarians, PTA Presidents, soccer coaches and soccer moms.

So where exactly is this war on women, and who is waging it?

The progressive left in this country has been waging a war, and now an ambush on women. But the war is not on all women–only female conservatives. Apparently the left doesn’t appreciate our pioneering spirit, our independence, and the way we shun victimhood.

Rosen would be one of the first to defend her right to work and be a mother. If she was a real feminist, she also would have defended Ann Romney’s right and choice to stay home and raise her children.

Songs and books have been written about the importance of living every day as if it will be your last. While a seemingly noble concept, living out each day indulging in special moments and treats instead of addressing responsibilities could be seen as a little self-indulgent.

However, living as a liberal would be much more accepted and easier, far more self-satisfying and approved by the mass media.

Being a conservative in California is just too much work.

But before I fully tap into my inner liberal, I will need to practice dropping the f-bomb in casual conversation more frequently, brush up on making stinging personal attacks against people I dislike or disagree with and watch more vile television programs like “Two and a Half Men.”

Living like a liberal is going to be easy and fun, but the To-Do list is long.

It’s Time To Demand A Free Education

Because California needs one more smarmy, liberal lawyer, I plan on signing up for law school. To pay for tuition and books, as well as my considerable personal expenses while I attend, I will need massive student loans and all of the Cal-Grants I can get my hands on.

In order to qualify for the grants, I will have to dump my husband and quit my job. Life will be more enjoyable going to school instead of working, while maintaining a well-deserved and very active social life. The divorce will help seal the necessary indigence requirement for loan and grant qualification, since I am not considered part of a protected minority class.

Meet Your New Neighborhood Nanny

Because I know what’s best for all of my neighbors, friends and family, I will practice being everyone’s neighborhood nanny, beginning with turning in all of the fireplace-users and water violators in my neighborhood.

Next, I will lead the fight for water meter installation on every home in the city, usage limiters on the heating and air conditioning systems in each of the 6,000 homes in my neighborhood, as well as the requisite solar systems on the rooftops, and home water storage and recycling systems.

Every neighbor should be composting, as well.

While I will work to make sure that tiny, white twinkle lights are still allowed on homes during the generic winter holiday, no Nativity scenes, plastic Santas or Frostys will be allowed.

This neighborhood nanny will work to ban all political signs from neighbors’ lawns, because isn’t everyone who matters already liberal?

It’s All About ‘Green’

I will buy a Chevy Volt — no, I’ll buy a Tesla. I am worth the best. I will just add the $109,000 onto my student loans. The carbon offset credits from the purchase should cover me until 2050.

I will shame my “ex-husband” into dumping his SUV. He can drive a Prius like everyone else in the neighborhood.

The Journalist In Me

I will subscribe to the New York Times and the Washington Post, and start out every day listening to NPR for daily liberal talking points, and voting tips.

I will no longer need to do my own research on important economic trends, energy independence, social issues or global warming.  Like all other liberals, I will be able to get up every morning and get my fill of liberal politics fed to me as I eat my daily ration of organic multi-grain cereal with pesticide-free banana slices.

Tapping My Inner Vegan

Since I am already a vegetarian, it’s time to force my righteously healthy eating habits on everyone I encounter. It is not enough to make a scene in a restaurant when demanding special preparation of my food orders, it’s time to demand that restaurants feed everyone the way I eat.

Dreamy Social Issues

As a soon-to-be-liberal-lawyer-in-training, I plan on practicing manipulation of the law, and will demand that the government take care of everyone who wants or needs all social services.

The environment — especially the coast — will take precedence over the people of California.  We must save the ocean, save the whales, save the spotted owl, save the desert tortoise, save the Delta Smelt, save the Redwoods and Sequoias and save Malibu and Carmel while we’re at it.

Animals and prisoners have rights too. And state employees deserve their own Bill of Rights.

The Occupier In Me

Note to self: Meet up with local Occupiers to protest for a free education, free healthcare coverage, a free home, free transportation and free coffee from Starbuck’s.

Removal of the Conservative Outer Layer

The need to liberate my stodgy, conservative self is overpowering. I vow to give away my sensible dresses and slacks in exchange for more grungy, man-of-the-people clothes. Then I will stop wearing makeup, nail polish and hair products that are tested on laboratory animals. I will replace my fascist gold earrings with grommets. I’ll pierce my nose, lip, and cheek and get a sleeve of tattoos on my left arm … because I am left-handed.

The best part of this fashion change is that I won’t have to do laundry as frequently, and jewelry changes will be nil.

Liberal Mom Redux

I am going to need to talk my son into quitting the Navy. I don’t know how a kid who attended Montessori School in kindergarten found his way into the Navy.

I must have fed him too much meat when he was a child.

Rebirth As A Feminist

Becoming a card-carrying feminist should be the most fun part of being liberal: 1) Always play the victim; 2) Attack conservative women for their lofty morals and disciplined work ethic; 3) Be mean to other women; 4) Be meaner to men; 5) Hate myself for having a uterus; 6) Turn my boy children into wimps; 7) Replace husband with a girlfriend.

Tax The Rich

As an angry, activist, feminist lawyer, I will pursue changes to the tax code requiring the 1 percenters to pay more than their fair share of taxes. The rich have been enjoying their money for too long, and need to spread some of that love around.

Crass Is Cool

Lastly, I am going to contact talk radio hosts across America, and convince them to become comedians — or at least call themselves comedians. Once everyone knows they are comedians, they can say anything they want — crass, gross, disgusting, distasteful and vulgar things — and get away with it. They wouldn’t even have to be funny.

As a liberal, I’ll be able to talk like a sailor anywhere I want. I might even start watching Bill Maher without recoiling in disgust.

Rebirth as a liberal is going to be fun and easier. And maybe, just maybe, some of my old friends and dinner party acquaintances will start talking to me again. Sometimes I miss being part of the über-popular crowd.

— Katy Grimes