The most evil of the Nazis is Gestapo Maj. Hochstetter, who in one episode sneers, “Vee haf vays of making you talk!” And in another, “Heads vill rollll!”

In the episode “It’s Dynamite,” Hochstetter is romancing a young lady. Here’s the dialog:

Hochstetter: “Fraulein Schmidt, I would enjoy seeing you some time.”

Schnmidt: “My address…”

Hochstetter: “That’s all right. I have everybody’s address…. Fraulein, Heil Hitler!”

It was funny when the episode first aired on Nov. 22, 1970, back when America still was a free country.

Today, it’s not so funny because the NSA has not only everybody’s address, but everybody’s email, phone number, phone numbers called, Websites visited, bank account info and soon — once computer memory gets even cheaper — recordings of every phone call.

Like Maj. Hochstetter, NSA agents even use all that info for romantic purposes. It’s called LOVINT. Reported the Telegraph:

“The employees even had a code name for the practice –‘Love-int’ — meaning the gathering of intelligence on their partners….

“One employee was disciplined for using the NSA’s resources to track a former spouse, the Associated Press said.”

The NSA insists the LOVINT abuses are limited. But earlier this year James Clapper, the Director of National Intelligence, was asked by Sen. Ron Wyden, “Does the NSA collect any type of data at all on millions or hundreds of millions of Americans?”

Clapper denied it — blatantly lying to Congress. But Congress is at fault, too, for not removing him from office when the Snowden revelations brought out the truth.

It’s like in Hogan’s Heroes, where Maj. Hochstetter spies on everybody with impunity. And if you resist, they have ways of making you talk.

By Chris Reed

The best “Hogan’s Heroes” in-joke of all time: