I resent Gov. Jerry Brown’s fat insults

Sept. 12, 2012

By John Seiler

To quote the late, great comedian Chris Farley, “I have what doctors call a little bit of a weight problem.” But with one exception, I don’t mind fat jokes.

After all, my favorite comedians are Farley, John Belushi, Jackie Gleason, John Candy, Lou Costello, Cedric the Entertainer and — the ultimate funnyman — Curly of the Three Stooges. Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!

The exception is when far-left, ultra-politically correct politicians insult those of us who are — in P.C. parlance — “svelte deprived.”

If you’re not, P.C., then no problem. Joke away. I’ll laugh, too.

But if you’re a P.C. person, then I demand that you be P.C. toward everybody, especially the one P.C. minority to which I belong.

Brown just attacked our oppressed minority: “I’m flying Southwest and I oftentimes take the middle seat. I don’t think Christie is taking the middle seat. So I’m doing my part for austerity.” He was referring to Republican Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey, who’s about my size.

What an insult. Brown should apologize immediately to those of us in the diet-challenged community!

Like any oppressed minority, we also demand special privileges. No, I don’t want anybody’s tax money. I’m not a robber. Rather, we should have special tax breaks. How about no sales tax for fat people at restaurants?

I’ve also come up with a new diet, I call the Tax Cut Diet. One problem I have is that, whenever I even think about taxes and the gigantic amount of money stolen from me by Brown and other P.C. anti-fat bigots, I get nervous and drive down to the local Royal Donut and Bakery and enjoy one of those round delights until I’m slightly less unhappy about being robbed.

The solution is obvious: Cut my taxes and I won’t take as many trips for donuts! I’ll slim down.

Brown could take a weight off the shoulders — and everywhere else — of us pound-challenged Californians. But noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!