Time to break up California?

Sept. 6, 2012

By John Seiler

Looks like Canada is breaking up. Reported RT.com:

“The separatist Parti Quebecois has won Quebec’s regional elections and will form a new government there, once again raising the possibility of a referendum on independence being held in Canada’s French-speaking province.

“Canadian Broadcasting Corp and the Canadian Press reported that Parti Quebecois (PQ) won or were leading in nearly 60 districts, just short of the 63 needed for a majority government….

“Crowds of jubilant PQ followers, cheered and waved flags as election results indicated their party was heading back to power after nine years of Liberal Party rule.

“Should PQ win a majority it will make it easier for them to call a referendum on independence. Quebec has held two referendums in the past — one in 1980 and another in 1995- with the last narrowly rejecting independence from Canada.”

Canada obviously is at least two countries. Quebec is French-speaking; the rest of the country mostly English-speaking, eh. The people and cultures are different.

Time also for California to split up. Languages aside, the differences between, say, Orange County and San Francisco are larger than those between Quebec and Alberta. Why should John Wayne County have to be jammed together with Nancy Pelosi City? It just doesn’t make sense.

Here’s how the state should be broken up into new states:

1. Orange County is renamed John Wayne State of Freedom. Like New Hampshire, no sales or income taxes. All public schools privatized. All controls and taxes on cigarettes removed. Medical marijuana is banned, but medical bourbon (Wayne’s drink) is subsidized. State song: “That’ll Be the Day” (based from one of the Duke’s lines).

2. San Francisco becomes Nancy Pelosi State. State income taxes raised to 50 percent. Cigarettes banned. Medical marijuana is manditory for all ailments. However, farming regulations prevent anything, including marijuana, from being grown in the city. Socialized medicine on the British model is imposed. State song: “San Franciscan Nights.”

3. Los Angeles County becomes Hollywood State. The governor is chosen by movie box-office results. State income tax is 20 percent; except for anyone in the entertainment industry, for which it’s zero. State song: “L.A. Woman.”

4. San Diego becomes a federal protectorate under the Department of the Navy. U.S. Marines from Camp Pendleton replace local police. State song: “Surfin’ USA.”

5. Inland Empire becomes Bob Hope State, after the longtime resident of Palm Springs. The state income tax starts out at 4 percent, but will be cut later. Stand-up comics don’t pay it. State song: “Thanks for the Memories.”

6. Bakersfield and the general area around it becomes Haggard State, after Merle Haggard, one of the creators of the great Bakersfield Sound in country music. No state income tax for descendants of Okies. Everyone else pays 3 percent. State song: “I’m an Okie from Muskogee.”

7. Northern California becomes Ganja State. Top export: medical marijuana. State income tax rate is 15 percent, but nobody pays it because tax authorities always are high. State song: “Don’t Bogart that Joint.”