Election musings of a cigar-smoking political writer

A few thoughts as we approach Tuesday’s plebescite.

Anyone. California is proving true the old egalitarian adage that, “Any billionaire or member of the Brown clan can become governor or senator.”

Women candidates: We have a record number of women running for political office this year. When women first entered politics 40 years ago, feminists said things would get better because women would provide a new perspective on the issues. Instead, women politicians have advanced a strong case for the equality of the sexes: women politicians have proved to be just as bad as men politicians.

Carly’s Party.  Carly Fiorina promises “a helluva party” after her expected Tuesday victory. Will it be bigger than the one Hewlett-Packard gave when she left?

She’s so vain. When I was in my late teens, Carly Simon was at the height of her popularity. So whenever I hear “Carly,” I think “Simon,” not Fiorina. But this election has solved the four-decade riddle of who is the subject of the singing Carly’s most famous song, “You’re So Vain.” It’s the HP Carly.

Meg’s pegs. Meg still believes she needs the campaign prowess of Pete Wilson and Mitt Romney, who are traveling now across the state for her. In 1991, Pete imposed a then-record $7 billion tax increase on the state. And as governor of Taxachusetts, Mitt imposed on the state’s inmates Mittcare, which was the template for Obamacare. She sure can pick ’em.

Poizner’s Olympics. Steve Poizner is running in the Middle-Aged Olympics. He’s campaigning door-to-door “to set the record straight” against Meg’s ads. He looks fit and trim, so he could talk to about 200 voters a day. In his last week of campaigning, that would be about 1,400 voters. Which leaves about another 4,998,600 GOP voters to contact personally on election day.

Jerry’s platform. After Democrats nominate him Tuesday, Jerry Brown’s platform should be: “No matter who’s the next governor, California will keep crashing. But you’ll have more fun watching me lead the crash.”

Tom Stassen. This is Tom Campbell’s third losing campaign for the U.S. Senate. And earlier this year he ditched his gubernatorial campaign. He’s become California’s Harold Stassen —  always running, always losing.

Political high times. Even before a legalization initiative is decided in the November election, medical pot dispensaries increasingly are sprouting up.  This obviously is in anticipation of citizens wanting to escape reality after both the June and November elections.

Needed initiative. For this November’s election, the Legislature should put on the ballot an initiative stipulating, “All California residents will be mailed a slip of paper reading, ‘Last one to leave California, please turn out the lights’.”

— John Seiler